ANBU's Mask
by lackofname
Summary: Due to a few...minor inconveniences, the Hero of Hyrule couldn't go through with his journey. So instead, a loud, blonde ninja trekked through the wood...sequel to Ocarina of Konoha. Contest details inside!
1. Practically a Prologue

Hello, eve**r**yone! Good to be back in the parody busin**e**ss! For all of those who have read my **v**ery original parody, Ocarina of Konoha, I present to you the awa**i**ted sequel, ANBU's Mask! If you haven't r**e**ad Ocarina of Konoha…do so. No**w**. Stop reading this and go read the first one.

For the first chapte**r**, I'll be doing the disclaim**e**r. Although it makes me **v**ery sad, I don't own N**i**ntendo, Naruto, or subliminal m**e**ssaging. Not that I **w**ould ever use subliminal messages.

And remember to **review**, everyone! Note: If this text stays on screen for more than one-sixteenth of a second, please contact me.

Thanks goes out to **The All-Seeing Sharingan**, the director for this production! Everyone, applause for her!

(Raises glass) To the first chapter of what I hope will be a stellar sequel!

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In the land of Hyrule, there was a legend. A legend held close by the Royal Family that tells of a boy. A boy who, after battling evil and saving Hyrule, crept away from the land that made him a legend…

Done with the battles he once waged across time, he embarked on a journey. A very secret and personal journey…a journey in search of a beloved and invaluable friend. A friend with whom he parted ways when he finally fulfilled his heroic destiny and took his place among legends…

At least, that's how the story was supposed to go. Due to a few…minor inconveniences, our legendary Hero wasn't able to go through with his journey. So instead, a loud, blonde ninja trekked through the thick wood, riding on the poor, tired back of a tiny dog with white fur.

The reasons for him searching through the woods were roughly the same, though rather than look for a beloved friend, our hero was searching for his bossy, rude, irate, gender-sensitive fairy partner with a strong parental streak.

"Lonely…I am so lonely…" Naruto Uzumaki sang softly, depressed. "I have no fairy…to call my own…"

In his wistful stupor, he failed to notice the two glowing orbs of light hovering up high above him. One glowed bright white, while the other was a dark red-purple. They exchanged glances quickly, nodding, before whizzing up in a flash of fairy dust.

Akamaru whined, exhausted, and continued to move forward, legs shaking slightly from the weight of the blonde on his back. Naruto petted his head sympathetically.

"Don't worry, Akamaru," he said. "You can make it…and if you die, Kiba will kill me…we're almost there, come on…"

Akamaru's legs gave way, too tired to care anymore. Naruto jumped up and off the poor puppy's back, panicked.

"Akamaru! Damn it, what will I do now?" he whined.

Someone tapped him on the shoulder. "Excuse me," a girl's voice said. "I think I'm lost. Can you help me?"

Naruto ignored the voice, instead continuing to stare at Akamaru, nudging him with his toe. The girl cleared her throat noisily, tapping him on the shoulder again.

Naruto sank to his knees, now poking Akamaru's side gingerly. The female fairy turned, incredulous, to the other fairy, who shrugged.

"Fine, we'll do this the easier way," the female fairy sighed, her tiny fist making a loud sound of impact as it connected with the back of his skull. He was sent sprawling forward, unconscious.

"Told you we should've done that from the beginning," the purple fairy said arrogantly.

"Shut up," the female rolled her eyes bitterly. From between the trees, a rustling was heard, and a heart-shaped mask with spikes adorning the sides and large yellow eyes peeked out through. It appeared to be made, rather crudely, out of sand.

Gaara stepped out, pulling out his script with little interest and raising his mask to survey the near-dead dog-horse and the out cold ninja. "Hee, hee," he drawled, sounding as if he was desperately wishing to either be shot or taken far, far away from where he was. "You two fairies took long enough."

"I tried to tell her, but she wanted to do things the sneaky way," the male fairy began, but was cut off when the female hit him, nearly sending him out of the air.

"I wonder if he's got anything good on him," Gaara ignored the bickering pair, sounding almost intrigued. "Looks like he has a weapon, but that shouldn't be a problem." He started forward, kicking Naruto over and searching through his kunai pouch.

"Ooh, ooh! Skull Kid, let me see the Ocarina!" the male fairy said excitedly, whizzing forward as Gaara brought the Ocarina of Time to his lips, blowing a quick note on it. He gave it a disdainful look.

"You can't, Zaku," the female, suddenly recognizable as Kin, said sharply. "I mean…Tael. What would we do if you dropped it and broke it? You can't touch it!"

"Aw, but sis!" Zaku protested. "That's not fair! I'm not that much of a klutz!"

"You can barely throw a kunai straight," Kin sneered. Zaku opened his mouth to retaliate, but froze suddenly.

"Ugh…" Naruto groaned, sitting up very slowly. "Ow…I haven't felt like this since I died…"

"Nice punch, Tatl," Zaku said sarcastically.

Gaara looked at Naruto, almost surprised, before tucking the Ocarina behind his back rather poorly. "Oh, you're awake…" he looked around shiftily, eyes landing on Akamaru. Naruto's jaw dropped.

"Hey! That's my – HEY!" Naruto sprung forward as Gaara jumped onto Akamaru's back, digging his heel into the dog's side slightly to make him go. Naruto dove, grabbing Akamaru's leg. The dog barked and sped up, dragging the blonde over the rough ground, his skin being tugged at and torn by loose branches and rocks.

"Sorry," Gaara apologized tonelessly, sending his foot directly into Naruto's face. The blonde yelled, releasing Akamaru and clutching at his face painfully. Akamaru, still with Gaara on his back, kept going, heading right into what appeared to be a hollow tree trunk.

"Damn it…" Naruto cursed, propping himself up on his grubby hands, wiping at his brow. "Was that…Gaara?" he plopped back down on the ground, eyes wide in realization. "I see…so the chapter has started, then…"

"Took him long enough," a familiar voice said in exasperation from off screen. "Idiot…"

Naruto scrambled to his feet, taking off through the tree stump after him, indignant. "Gaara, get back here with my horse!" he yelled, blinded by irritation. He ran inside the tree, entering a hollowed-out room with logs leading up to a door. Upon a happier time for Naruto, he wouldn't have known what to make of this, but by now he recognized it as the place he was meant to go.

He jogged up the steps, hopping across to the next log. He eyed the next gap a little warily before jumping over to the next log, cart wheeling off the side. Almost automatically, he jumped to the next one, doing a flip in midair.

"I see," he smiled slightly. "The game makers use the first chance they get to show off what they've done to the game…" he snorted, jumping across to the doorway. Without thinking, he ran forward, running down the corridor at top speed, unable to see through the piercing darkness. His foot slipped off the side, and his eyes widened in terror when he realized the floor was no longer there. With a scream, he plummeted.

Odd, colourful symbols flew up to meet him, it seemed, and he didn't even realize it when he finally landed with a loud thud on a flower-like platform. Shallow water seemed to be the only barrier now between him and Gaara, who was casually being suspended, courtesy of the wire team, while Kin and Zaku bobbed pointlessly on either side of him.

"What was this that horse of yours?" Gaara asked tonelessly. "It wasn't even a real horse, and it doesn't obey orders. I did you a favour and got rid of it for you."

Naruto stiffened in horror. "Kiba will kill me," he said definitively. "I'm dead…"

"You wish," Gaara replied flatly. "You have no chance of beating me as I am now." At this, he shook his head roughly, making his mask quiver from side to side, waves of power shaking free. Naruto inhaled sharply, before his vision went black.

Through the darkness, he saw small, familiar wooden creatures accosting him from all sides. Recognizing them as Deku Scrubs, Naruto drew back in horror.

"No!" he yelled, squeezing his eyes shut. "I thought the molesting would stop once I left Hyrule!"

There were suggestive murmurs from all directions, becoming louder and louder until it was nearly unbearable. The Scrubs faded away, only to be replaced by a Scrub twenty times larger than normal. It began heading for him, interestingly shaped mouth heading right for him, trying to suck him in…

Naruto opened his eyes. His body felt lighter, and he distinctly remembered everything looking…smaller before.

Filled with absolute dread, Naruto peered over into the surface of the water and screeched. "I'M – I'M A – a _prostitute_ plant!"

"Hee, hee, hee," Gaara 'giggled' unenthusiastically, his tone bored, although the corners of his mouth were tilted in a very small smirk. "You'll stay here looking that way forever."

The wires suspending him began to move, pulling him through the open door. Zaku immediately followed. Naruto started forward, still inwardly horrified at how he practically skipped along the water, only to be stopped by Kin, who hit him again, bouncing off his head with a faint growl.

"S-sis!" Zaku called through the door, and Kin spun around just in time to see the door slide shut. Kin flew forward, frantically beating her tiny fists against the door.

"Skull Kid, you bastard, wait for me! I'm still here!" she hollered. "Tael, you can't leave without me!" she threw her light body at the door, hoping in vain to accomplish something. She stiffened and turned back to Naruto, flying at him at top speed.

"_You!_" she shrieked. "If I wasn't dealing with you, I wouldn't have been separated from my brother!"

"I didn't know fairies even had families…" Naruto mumbled, digging his small wooden foot into the dirt, almost sheepishly. Kin rolled her eyes.

"Fairies are people, too," she snapped. "Now don't just sit there, Deku boy! Do something!"

"Look, I don't know what kind of Deku Scrubs you know – even though they're probably like the ones I know – but I'm not like that!" Naruto protested. Kin blinked.

"You're disgusting," she said contemptuously. "I meant help me, or something!"

Naruto stared at her. Kin flew over to the water anxiously. "What? Why are you staring?" she demanded. "Is there something on my face? …No, it's perfect," she sighed in relief. "Shame I'm a fairy right now, though…I miss my hair…"

"You expect me to help you?" Naruto snorted. "Kyuubi didn't raise no fool!"

"I seriously doubt that," Kin said, looking at him condescendingly. "You aren't even speaking properly."

Naruto glared indignantly. Kin made a sound of frustration. "Will you stop staring and open that door for me?" she pointed needlessly, before grabbing his small wooden shoulders and shaking him roughly. "Come on! A helpless little girl is asking you, so hurry up!" she yelled, exasperated.

She flew over to the door once again, hovering anxiously. "Oh, Tael…I wonder if that child will be alright on his own…?"

At this, Naruto chuckled. Kin glared at him witheringly. "What?"

"You just remind me of someone," Naruto shook his large walnut head. "Do all fairies act like that?"

"Stop stalling and help me before I find a way to take your controller," Kin gritted her teeth, balling her fist. Naruto hastened forward, opening the door. Kin flew forward, and Naruto did an odd sort of spin, gliding forward and leaving a streak across the dirt ground. He regained his balance, disoriented.

"Whoa…that's what I do instead of drawing my sword," Naruto said groggily, almost nauseous. Kin whizzed forward, flying in front of his face.

"Hey, don't leave me behind!" she said indignantly, before looking down at the ground and saying, very insincerely, "Yeah, so, uh…that stuff back there…I apologize. So…take me with you!"

Naruto looked surprised. Kin, taking notice of his doubtful expression, continued hastily. "You want to know about that Skull Kid who just ran off, right? I just so happen to have an idea of where he might be going. So take me with you, and I'll help you out. Deal?"

Naruto hesitated, and began to shake his head, opening his mouth, but Kin interrupted. "Good, then it's settled! Now then, I'll be your partner…or at least until we catch Skull Kid."

"Wait a second!" Naruto yelped. "I already have a guardian fairy! I don't need you!"

Kin scoffed. "Some partner. Where is she now?"

"He," Naruto corrected automatically. "He's very sensitive about his gender, dattebayo. And Kyuubi…" he trailed off. "Well, okay, maybe Kyuubi wasn't a very good partner, but he's still my friend."

"Those days are over, then," Kin sniffed. "I'm your new partner. My name is Tatl."

"Tatl?" Naruto repeated. "…What's your real name?"

Kin looked startled. "Why does that matter?" she asked, astonished. "This is a parody. It shouldn't matter."

"I'm different," Naruto shrugged, blinking his fiercely glowing eyes. "See, look, I get to keep my own name and everything. So I want to know who you actually are."

Kin hesitated. "…My name's Kin. You don't know -"

"I remember you!" Naruto declared. "You got beaten in the Chuunin exam by Shikamaru! You're a Sound ninja!"

"…Who I am," she finished, scowling. "Yeah, well, it's in the past, as far as this parody is concerned. Look, nice to meet you or whatever. Now that we have all of this straightened out, can we stop screwing around and get moving?" she snickered. "Although, now that's you're a Deku, you should get used to screwing around."

"Shut up!" Naruto snapped. "I don't like you. You're mean." He paused. "Of course, Kyuubi would probably have been a lot meaner…and a lot sooner…"

"Since you don't seem to be used to your Deku body yet, press the up button to talk to me. I'll ring this little bell if I figure something out." For emphasis, she rang the tiny golden bell. Naruto looked up expectantly.

"What did you figure out?" Naruto inquired. Kin smacked him.

"Nothing, you idiot," she rolled her eyes, looking down at the blonde and wrinkling her nose at him. "I was doing it to – forget it," she said in disgust. "Just get going. You can use those pink flowers by burrowing into them, and then springing out. To do that, hold the A Button and release it when you're ready to fly."

"Fly…?" Naruto blinked. Kin rolled her eyes.

"You really are oblivious," she sighed. "Just do it. Learn through experience and stop bothering me."

Naruto hesitated, looking down at the flower critically before taking a deep breath and burrowing deep into the centre. His oddly shaped – and rather _suggestively_ shaped – mouth stuck out from the top, sucking in air frantically. He was obviously uncomfortable. Kin watched him.

"…You didn't forget to release the A Button, did you?" she asked disinterestedly. Naruto suddenly sprung up form the flower, two smaller versions of the pink flower rotating like pinwheels, keeping him airborne. He stared down at the fathomless ground in shock, his glowing eyes flickering up to the flowers in his hands.

"I'm flying," he said in complete disbelief. "Is it true, then? Fairy dust really does make you fly?"

"Don't be stupid!" Kin retorted. "Your body's a lot lighter now than it was before. You can use those flowers now anytime, as long as you're stuck as a Deku."

"That's a big consolation," he muttered sulkily, steering himself for a platform when he felt gravity begin to work. Kin snickered, obviously still amused at his plight.

Naruto opened the tiny chest on the platform, eyes widening slightly as his voice caught between forlorn disgust and nostalgia. "I haven't come across Deku nuts since I left Hyrule."

Kin coughed lightly. "I suggest you rephrase that a little."

Naruto looked blankly at her for a moment, before sputtering. "You're sick!" he said accusingly. "No one normal would try reading into that!"

"You're a Scrub now," Kin shrugged. "Get used to people reading into what you say."

"This sucks," Naruto grumbled.

"So do you," Kin replied smugly. Naruto swatted at her, but she flew up higher out of range. "Come on, let's get going! We don't have time to waste around here, you know!"

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Kin froze, looking up above the strange line. "What the hell was that?" she asked cautiously.

"That was a time-lapse line," Naruto explained, scrambling up the tiny stone steps. "There'll be a lot of them, so you should get used to them…the author adds them in whenever she feels too lazy to write out the rest of a scene or writes herself into a corner…" he frowned. "At least, that's what Kyuubi used to say."

Kin frowned slightly as Naruto pushed open a door, entering what appeared to be inside some sort of tower. Water pooled at the ground, and large cogs and wheels turned slowly, somehow adding to the almost eerie background music without disturbing it.

Naruto hiked up the small steps and across a sturdy-looking bridge, moving up towards the tower's exit. The two grand wooden doors seemed almost imposing, and Naruto ran forward, eager to get out of the dreary place. The music faded away, unnoticed.

"You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?"

Naruto jumped badly, and Kin automatically whirled around Naruto, using him as a shield. From the shadows, a dark, hulking figure looked up, eyes illuminated enough for Naruto to see. He backed up involuntarily, almost crushing Kin against the door.

"Watch it," Kin hissed angrily.

The figure stepped forward into the light, only to reveal that he wasn't at all the hulking form they had thought he was. Two puppets almost entirely covered in masks were strapped onto his back, threatening to slip down from the weight. Kankuro tugged at the straps holding them up.

"Kankuro," Naruto brightened. "What are you doing here? And what's with the masks?" he said frowning.

"I own the Happy Mask Shop in Hyrule, that luckily no one ever bothered going to in _Ocarina of Konoha_," he told the Deku-boy. "I travel far and wide in search of masks, but during my travels a very important mask was stolen from me by an imp in the woods…" his eyes narrowed, and he muttered, "I'm so going to tell Temari on him..."

"What was that?"

"Nothing," Kankuro recovered quickly. "So here I am at a loss…and then I find you," he said, stepping forward with a grin. Naruto's eyes widened and he held up his hands defensively.

"Listen, I'm not that kind of Scrub, dattebayo!" he said desperately. Kankuro stopped in his tracks, looking surprised and a bit disgusted.

"I'm not talking about _that_," he spat. "I have a little more dignity than to do that!"

Naruto blinked. "You went to the cast-party last time with your puppet as your date."

Kankuro stiffened. "So?"

Kin laughed from behind Naruto, still hiding. Naruto shifted uneasily. "…Uh…nothing, I guess. You were saying something…?"

"Right," Kankuro said, still looking mortally offended. "Now don't think I'm some kind of creepy stalker or something, but I've been following you…"

"Doesn't that kind of define stalker?" Kin piped up sarcastically, before hiding again. Kankuro scowled.

"Shut up! What I mean is…" he took a deep breath, and a creepier, disjointed version of the background music started. "I know of a way to return you to your former self."

Naruto's eyes widened considerably. "Are-are you serious?" he stuttered with joy. "I'm not stuck like this forever?"

"Of course not. What do you think those game makers are, cruel?" Kankuro laughed heartily. Naruto wisely chose not to respond. That's right – NARUTO did something WISELY. "All you have to do is get the item the imp stole from you back. But," he narrowed his eyes again. "That won't be _free_…"

"I told you before!" Naruto panicked. "I'm not that kind of Scrub!"

"Shut up!" Kankuro shouted, slapping his hand against his forehead. "I'm not talking about – look, just get my mask back from the imp and we'll call it even, okay?"

Naruto stared at him. Kankuro raised an eyebrow. "What? Is that too hard for you? It shouldn't be a problem for someone like you…"

"I…guess not," Naruto said hesitantly.

"Except…"

"Here we go," Naruto sighed.

"The thing is, I'm a busy guy," Kankuro said casually. "I have to leave this place in three days. I'll need my mask before the three days are up, you see?" he gave him a critical look. "Yeah, you'll be fine. You have enough courage to do the job."

Hidden, Kin raised an eyebrow. "He's kidding, right?" she thought briefly of how her new partner had acted so far. "Courage…yeah, right…"

"You'll probably find it right away," Kankuro continued, not hearing Kin's mutters. Naruto grimaced.

"You're jinxing me the more you talk," Naruto said. "It's just finding a mask…it shouldn't be too hard, right?"

"Exactly," Kankuro declared. "I'm counting on you, so get going."

Naruto nodded his large, walnut-like head, running up the stairs and pushing his way out the door. It slammed behind him loudly, making him jump slightly. Just then, the screen went completely black, and the words 'Dawn of the First Day' imposed themselves on the screen. In smaller, less-threatening looking text, it read, '72 hours remaining'.

"What the hell was that?" Naruto exclaimed. Kin ignored him. "Kin? Did you see that?"

"Damn, that guy gives me the creeps," Kin said, looking disdainfully at the doors they had just come through. Naruto blinked. "That guy was the salesman that we…" she trailed off.

"That you…?" Naruto prompted. Kin smacked him.

"I was just thinking out loud! Don't eavesdrop!" she said chidingly. Naruto gave her a strange look.

"You're hovering in front of me," he pointed out. "How am I not supposed to…?"

"I can't believe he's only giving us three days," Kin continued bitterly, as though she hadn't heard the Deku-boy. "Even without sleep, that only leaves us with seventy-two hours! Talk about demanding!"

"We won't need to sleep, we're in a game parody now," Naruto chipped in. Kin ignored him again.

"Don't just stand there," she snapped at him. "We're going to see the Great Fairy!"

"Great Fairy?" Naruto repeated, surprised. Kin rolled her eyes.

"You want to find the Skull Kid, don't you?" she said condescendingly. "The Great Fairy will know what he's up to. She watches over everything, and between you and me, the Skull Kid would be no match for her. So, get going to the shrine near the North gate!"

"North gate…?" Naruto began, but his voice faded away when he took his first good look around. Amidst the business of the small, quaint looking area, the location read 'South Clock Town'. Naruto took a few steps forward, staring around in awe. Suddenly he yelped, pointing up at the sky in shock and terror.

Orochimaru's pale face sneered down at him, but frighteningly, JUST his face was suspended. It was as if someone had attached his face to a gigantic boulder and hung it from the air, dangling it above the clock tower they had just exited. The effect was terrifying.

Kin lit up. "The moon," she said, a spark of wickedness in her voice. Naruto turned to her, paling.

"The moon?" he repeated weakly. Kin nodded.

"It looks a lot bigger than it normally does," she observed excitedly. "Now, let's forget about the moon for a while and get going! Get to the shrine!"

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"Oh, no! The Great Fairy!" Kin yelled shrilly, flying forward. Naruto followed, confused.

Dozens of what looked like glowing, winged lanterns flitted helplessly along the clear water surface, squeaking and squealing. Kin stared in shock.

"…Her body was broken," she realized. "Skull Kid must have…" she paused. "Damn it. I don't know what to do now." She turned expectantly to Naruto. The Deku-boy blinked a few times before realizing why she was staring.

"Oh! I don't know what to do!" he shook his head. "That's usually what I have Kyuubi for!"

Kin groaned in disgust. "Well, that's just great."

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"Six hours left," Kin groused, staring up at the giant clock tower. "I can't believe we wasted nearly three days! You're useless!" she screeched at Naruto.

Naruto wandered aimlessly, looking depressed. "It's not my fault, dattebayo," he said gloomily. "There was nothing I could do…"

"Maybe we can ask him for more time," Kin said, sounding breathless. "Yes…that's what we'll have to do. Come on," she said, tugging on his hat harshly. Naruto's heads jerked forward, making him protest. "We're going back inside that stupid clock tower…"

But just as she said the words, midnight struck. A few fireworks went off in the distance, and the Clock Tower began to rise up, the end of it tilting downwards and landing in position with a thud.

"What the…?" Kin gaped. Naruto pointed at one of the many posters around town.

"It says it's a carnival," Naruto observed. "It's supposed to start now. I guess it has something to do with that tower."

Kin shrieked in anger and frustration. "This is such a pain in the -" she stopped. "Wait. Do you hear that? The music changed."

Naruto listened carefully. "Yeah…that weird sort of ominous, mystic-like music?"

Kin nodded, and her brow furrowed. "And that rumbling…what is that?" she said loudly. "It's been going on all day, and it's making the ground shake."

Naruto looked up at Orochimaru's face. "The moon's even closer today," he said faintly. "It's been getting closer the entire time we were here…"

The rumbling started again, this time knocking Naruto flat on his back. He stared up at the moon. "That's it," he said, aghast. "He's coming closer. He's…" his eyes widened in panic. "He's going to crush us!"

"What?" Kin said demandingly, staring up at Orochimaru. A small smirk played on her lips, yet at the same time, her eyes were wide in fear. "He's…the entire country will end up being crushed," she said with a short, hollow laugh. "How perfect…"

Naruto gave her a look of horror. "You're supposed to be on my side now!" he yelled.

"I'm…I'm trying," Kin blinked up at the Orochimaru-moon, still caught between triumph and fear.

Naruto looked at a nearby clock. "What the…" he gasped. "How did five hours pass so quickly?"

"We're stuck in game time, remember?" Kin snapped. "It's only actually been a few minutes…" her mouth hung open, eyes transfixed on the clock.

"…This is it."

The clock struck six, marking the end of the third and final day. The tip of Orochimaru's giant nose crashed into the top of the clock tower, waves of heat and debris creating a thick layer around him from the sheer force of gravity. Naruto began to sweat, feeling the waves threatening to crush his tiny wooden body, gasping for air.

Kin's glowing body flickered out, and she was sent flying, too far away for Naruto to see where she went. Not that it mattered, because the crushing force on his head wouldn't have allowed him to move. He felt as if his soul itself was being driven into the ground, forcefully pushed out of his body and dragging his life with it. A familiar sensation reminiscent of a horribly sharp, yet somehow numb, ache overtook him.

"I'm…dying," he said, wasting his last few breaths. He closed his eyes, feeling the overwhelming force send him flying, too, his insides feeling as if they were crumbling, dissolving, something in his mind and heart bursting with desperation, the very last of his life being sucked away as everything went black –

"You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?"

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FINALLY! Chapter one of the sequel is finally here! Thanks to all new readers, and thanks even more to my old readers! Nice to have you back again!

For those who were around during Ocarina of Konoha, I need to clarify something. I tended to update almost daily last time, but sadly, I won't be able to do that this time. School's starting for me, and as much as I don't want to, I have to put that first. I'll try to update as much as possible, though!

Please review – tell me if I'm doing OoK justice!


	2. Chapter One, Take Two

Hello, everyone! Before I even get to the thanking thing and the disclaiming thing, there are a few issues for me to address!

**Kyuubi:** To the many people who asked about him, YES, he'll be in it! And yes, he has a fairly large role! You can expect him around chapter five…or maybe earlier, if I feel generous! I wasn't aware he had so many fans…

**Story Length**: This story should be thirty-one chapters. I know, not as long as Ocarina of Konoha, but I hope you'll all be satisfied with the length anyway.

Also, I urge you all – especially if you're fans of Fire Emblem – to read **Ocarina of Pherae** by **Aweirdguy**! I feel honoured to have inspired you, Aweirdguy! For those who are interested, just remove the spaces of the link: http:// www. fanfiction. net/ s/ 3114296/1/

Thanks to all my returning readers – Some of you, specifically, are **Flames of Insanity**, **BlooDy-MaY**, **AngelWing1138**, **PTalim**, **EvilFuzzy9**…Ack, so many I want to thank, but not enough space!

Lastly, I'M SO SORRY! I will NEVER take that long to update again! …Uh, but don't quote me on that.

So, without further adieu, (God knows you've waited long enough…) the next chapter!

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Naruto jumped slightly as the large wooden doors slammed behind him, and the screen went black, stark words blaring from the screen, reading 'Dawn of the First Day; 72 hours remaining'. Naruto blinked and shook his head slightly.

"This is weird," he muttered to himself. "I think I've done this before…"

"Déjà vu," Kin nodded faintly. "Well, there's no point in thinking much about it. Don't just stand there, we need to go see the Great Fairy!"

"The Great Fairy?"

"You want to find the Skull Kid, don't you?" she asked, sounding exasperated. "The Great Fairy will know what he's up to. She watches over everything, and between you and me, the Skull Kid would be no match for her. So, get going to the shrine near the North gate!"

Naruto hesitated. "I don't know…I think we should look around first. This seems like a big place," he pointed out, looking up curiously at the top left-hand corner. "South Clock Town…" he mused. "Come on, let's look around a bit!"

Kin sniffed haughtily. "There's no point in – hey!" she cried once he began walking off. "You stupid little…Argh! Watch out!"

Naruto spun towards her curiously, opening his mouth questioningly, only to be barrelled over by a snarling dog. Tail held high, the dog marched away, looking smug. Kiba, from the audience, looked smug.

"Serves him right for using Akamaru as a horse," he muttered.

"Ouch," Naruto groaned, rubbing his large head gingerly. He stood back up, hopping into some knee-deep water, watching the dog warily. At least, to a Deku Scrub, it was knee-deep. He took the opportunity to look around more.

Several carpenters were bustling about, climbing up on top of a tall wooden fixture and several wooden overhangs, moving by the occasional crate. A small set of stairs over by the post box lead to the right, where someone in a yellow mask was looking around furtively around as he slid a letter into the post box. He looked up at the tall clock tower, blinking a little.

"Hey," he realized. "The clock tower kind of looks like a giant pe -"(1)

"Who said you could run off like that?" Kin demanded, zooming over and crossing her arms huffily. "Stop 'exploring' and listen to me!"

Naruto ignored her, staring up in horror at the sky, pointing to the pale-faced, sneering moon. "T-that's…" he stuttered.

"The moon," Kin said, eyes widening slightly. "…Well, just forget that for now. We need to-"

Naruto had taken off again through the nearest exit, west. Kin made a shrill sound of irritation. "That stupid little…!"

The Deku-boy looked around in fascination at the strip that was West Clock Town. Stairs lead down to the exit, with doors to shops scattered about. An androgynous red-haired…person sat on their knees in a small nook, waving their arms occasionally. Naruto looked up at some of the signs above the doors.

"Post office…" he made a face, a cross between a smile and scowl. "Trading post…Curiosity Shop…" He turned to the redhead. "What do you do?"

"Depends on what you mean," the person answered casually, voice deep. Naruto supposed he was male. "I'll do a lot of things to a Deku Scrub…"

"W-What?" Naruto stepped back automatically, eyes wide. Kin, who had caught up by now, pushed him back forward.

"They read into things," she hissed a reminder. Naruto gulped.

"I'm, uh, not that kind of Scrub," Naruto stammered, looking very much like he just wanted to run for it. The man laughed slightly.

"Oh, a Business Scrub, then," he chuckled. "Sorry. I can never tell the difference. This is the only bank in Clock Town. What can I do for you?"

Naruto looked relieved. "Uh…I don't know…can I open an account, or something?"

"Sure," the banker shrugged. "Just let me mark you with my special stamp!"

"I told you, I'm not that kind of…"

"Not like that," the banker laughed again. "Although the offer still stands. Just hold still for one second," he mimed holding something heavy and stamping the top of Naruto's head. "There! Now I'll recognize you! What's your name, little guy?"

"Naruto, dattebayo," he answered, eyes looking up as he strained to see what the banker had supposedly done. The banker nodded.

"Okay, Naruto-dattebayo, I have no rupees saved from you! Hurry up and make a deposit sometime, will you?" the banker went back to waving his arms pointlessly. Naruto walked away slowly, still trying to see what the banker had done. Kin rolled her eyes.

"He didn't even stamp you with anything," she sniffed. "That banker has a few issues, if you ask me."

Naruto shuddered slightly. "I'll say." He walked through the exit, finding himself back in South Clock town. "Where should we go next…?"

"I don't know, maybe the shrine at the North gate?" Kin said snappishly. "You're wasting a lot of time, you know! It's getting late!"

"Wonder what's up these stairs," Naruto mused, heading up the stairs and down the path. Kin followed him angrily.

"You are so annoying!" she said tersely. "It's no wonder your last partner left!"

Naruto flinched slightly, but ignored her. A frog croaked pointlessly at the water's edge, the path of land around the pond leading to a door. Not too far from where Naruto was standing was a bell, and a bench was in the corner. Curious, Naruto rung the bell, and it clanged loudly in his ears.

Timidly, the door opened, and a masked face peered out, tufts of dark hair the only part of the boy's head that was visible. Naruto's eyes narrowed, trying to identify the person just as he scrambled back inside, locking the door.

"Yup," he nodded to himself. "No question about it."

"You figured out who he is?" Kin asked, raising her eyebrows. "I'm impressed. Looks like you actually are capable."

"Of course," Naruto beamed. "After seeing him, I know that he's obviously…"

Kin waited. Naruto posed triumphantly. "One of the characters from our series!"

Kin stared. Then she proceeded to rap her knuckles sharply on his wooden head. "It even sounds hollow," she commented in disdain. Naruto whined, rubbing his forehead.

"Well, it could've been one of the original characters!" he protested. Kin gave him a sceptical glare, and he shrunk back slightly.

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"See?" Naruto gave Kin a smug look. "I knew it was a good idea to go to the Laundry pool first, otherwise we wouldn't have gotten that part of the Great Fairy and been able to fix her!"

"You got magic power. Yay. All our problems are solved," Kin said flatly. "We still don't know where Skull Kid…" she trailed off, looking around. "Deku boy…?"

Naruto was using his power to blow a bubble of mucous, aiming it a giant balloon with a picture of Majora's Mask on it. Kin made a sound of exasperation. "You can't just -"

Naruto ignored her, letting the bubble go. It whizzed through the air, exploding against the thin surface of the balloon and popping it. A little boy with a peashooter, who had been shooting spit wads at the balloon since that morning, lowered it in surprise.

"Konohamaru?" Naruto exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

Konohamaru ignored the question, scurrying up to Naruto with wide eyes. "Are you the one who popped that balloon just now?"

Naruto frowned. "Yeah…Konohamaru, it's _me_. Naruto Uzumaki!"

Konohamaru laughed at this. "Yeah, right! Big brother Naruto is afraid of Deku Scrubs!"

The Deku looked affronted, mumbling under his breath, "I'm not _afraid_…"

"Anyway, that was pretty cool for a Scrub," Konohamaru went on. "We Bombers have a hide out that leads to the observatory outside town. You need a code to get in, and maybe I'll tell you what it is!"

Kin hissed in Naruto's ear, "It would be easier to find Skull Kid if we used the observatory! Get the information out of this kid!"

Konohamaru laughed. "Hey, don't think you're getting in that easily! I can't just tell you the code…you have to pass my test first!"

"That's my protégé," Naruto sighed. Kin glared angrily.

"Force it out of him if you have to," she grumbled. "We don't have time for games."

Naruto looked at her strangely. "This _is_ a game. We're in a parody of a video game. I thought you knew that?"

"That's not what I -" she began hotly, but Konohamaru cut her off, impatient.

"Are you ready?" he asked, stamping his feet a little. Naruto nodded, and Konohamaru whistled loudly. "Alright! LINE UP, GUYS!"

More children emerged from out of nowhere, two flanking either side of Konohamaru. The ones closest to him huddled creepily, their wooden, puppet-like heads flopping from side to side, making hollow wooden noises when they came into contact with anything. Naruto had a strong sense of seeing them before – and was reminded of Kankuro, for some reason – but chose not to comment. The two other earnest-looking children stood at attention.

"If you find and catch all of us by tomorrow morning, I'll teach you the code!" Konohamaru announced. "Are you ready?"

"Are you kidding?" Naruto shrieked, panicked. "How do you think that would look? I'm a Deku Scrub! If I'm seen chasing after kids, I'd probably be arrested or something!"

Konohamaru looked considering. "You know, if you were human, then I could make you a member and give you an original Bombers notebook. You do seem pretty good for a Scrub." He turned to the others. "What do you guys think?"

"No Scrubs!" they chorused.

"Non-humans aren't allowed anymore, after what happened with that Skull Kid!" Inari scowled.

"No girls allowed, either!" Moegi announced. Konohamaru gave her an odd look.

"You're still a girl, Moegi!" he told her. She pouted.

"Come on!" Naruto whined. "Can't you make an exception just this once, dattebayo? I really need to get into the observatory!"

"The observatory?" Konohamaru repeated, breaking into a wide grin. "There's some cool stuff in there!"

Naruto got on his knees pleadingly. "Come on, I'm begging for it!"

Kin read the last line of narration and coughed lightly. Naruto blinked at her, and she held out a copy of _ANBU's Mask_, indicating the line. Realizing how people read into things since he was a Deku Scrub, he leapt to his feet in revulsion. "Not like that! Sick…"

"…I guess we'll teach you the code," Konohamaru said reluctantly. "Since it will help develop the plot. I'm only going to say it once, though, so pay attention!" he turned to the others. "Ready guys?"

"And girls," Inari muttered. Moegi kicked him.

Naruto watched as one by one they turned around, revealing the code on the backs of their shirts. He blinked, and Kin's jaw dropped.

"'Insert generic and random code here'? You have got to be joking!"

"What's wrong with our code?" Konohamaru pouted. "If you want to get into our hideout, just tell our guard the password! See you later, Deku Scrub!"

As Naruto was leaving, he heard Inari say worriedly to Konohamaru, "But my mommy said I shouldn't go near Deku Scrubs after what happened last time…"

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Udon sniffed, wiping his nose on the back of his sleeve. "Um…that was the right password."

"Stupidest password ever…" Kin griped, crossing her arms huffily and tapping her fingers in annoyance. Naruto frowned at the last narration.

"She doesn't have a body," he pointed out. "She can't cross her arms or anything, it's physically impossible."

Naruto's small wooden foot caught aflame quite suddenly. The Scrub yelped and began stamping his foot frantically, taking off his hat and smothering his burning appendage. He glared, but thought better than to comment, knowing enough not to tempt the narrator again.

Yes, he knew better. His brain, although often unused, does serve its purpose occasionally.

"Hey…!"

"Just move out of the way and let us through," Kin said, looking disgusted as Udon sniffed again.

"There are lots of cool things at the telescope guy's place!" Udon seemed to think for a second. "Oh, and, uh, Bombers Secret Society of Justice forever!"

"Your society ranks right up there with Orochimaru's sexual deviances as the world's worst-kept secret," Kin snorted.

Udon looked confused. "What are sexual deviances?"

Kin pointed at Naruto. "Here's the epitome of one, kid."

"Hey!"

"Let's _go_," Kin urged impatiently, practically shoving Naruto past Udon. Grumbling, Naruto skittered down the narrow passageway, hesitating before skipping over the water and through to the next room. A balloon, similar to the one Konohamaru had been trying to pop, was suspended in front of the ladder, blocking it.

"Where exactly do you think this leads to, anyway?" Naruto's voice was hard to understand as he blew a mucous bubble, aiming it for the balloon. Kin shrugged her tiny fairy shoulders.

"I don't know," she said sarcastically. "I have a feeling it might have something to do with an astronomy tower, though, seeing as those damn Bomber kids kept mentioning it…"

Naruto climbed up the ladder, scowling slightly. "I really miss Kyuubi…"

The inside of the astronomy tower looked like the result of an architect on acid, with swirling colours and awkward steps leading up to the main room, where on a slightly risen platform was a gigantic telescope. An elderly man stood hunched over it, and only peered upwards when Naruto approached hesitantly.

"Before you say _anything_, I'm not that kind of Scrub, dattebayo," Naruto said cautiously. The man rolled his eyes.

"You just assume that since I'm old, I'm desperate?" he snapped. "Kids these days…are you a new friend of the Bombers gang?"

Kin snorted. Naruto gave her a withering look.

The old man didn't seem to notice the exchange. "At the very least, you seem better mannered than your mischievous friend from the other day." He gave an odd, creepy sort of laugh that sounded quite a bit like a dog being sick.

Kiba looked up, almost threateningly, as if sensing the author's intention of adding in a dog joke. The author wisely decided to let it slide.

"What 'mischievous friend' are you talking about?" Naruto frowned.

"And what do you mean, _he's_ well-mannered?" Kin said, pointing at Naruto in honest bewilderment. Naruto swatted her out of the air.

"He's probably causing trouble at the clock tower right now," the old man scowled. "Will you gaze into the telescope?"

"…'Kay." Naruto had to strain himself, stretching to peer through the lens. He gasped lightly. "Hey, Kin! I see something!"

"This better damn well be something interesting," she groused. "If you say something stupid like the moon's getting a pimple or you can see some girl changing in a window…"

"I wasn't gonna mention those," Naruto waved a hand, still staring into the lens, "but since you mentioned it, that girl _really _ought to invest in some curtains…ugh…"

Kin narrowed her eyes irritably. Naruto wisely turned his attention back to the top of the clock tower. "I can see Gaara, dattebayo…"

"What?" Kin fluttered underneath Naruto's face, which was a scant inch from the lens. The blonde yelped and fell backwards, clutching his eyes.

"The fairy dust! It BURNS!" he screeched. "I'm BLIND!"

Kin ignored him, frowning. "Oh, he did _not_ just flip the screen off…"

"Everything's going dark…" Naruto groaned.

"Hey! Something just fell out of the sky!" Kin informed him, yanking him to his feet. "Something glowing with a strange light fell from the moon's eye…and if I'm lucky, it'll be something that can get me out of this god damn parody…"

"I see a whole bunch of little glowing spots," Naruto said, blinking his eyes rapidly. "Is that normal?"

"For you? Why not," Kin dragged him over to the door, past the old man, who looked rather politely puzzled.

"…I'll just go back to my stargazing, shall I?" he said uneasily, bending over to stare into the lens, content to fade into obscure anonymity for the rest of the parody. "Ah, yes…what _beautiful_ stars…for my sake, I hope she never invests in curtains…"

Outside, Kin was examining the moon's tear with disdain. "A glowing rock," she said dully. "Well, isn't that useful. I can think of a _million_ uses for _that_."

Naruto was bouncing slightly. "I want to see!" he whined.

"I liked you better blind," she snapped, tossing the moon's tear at him. It hit his head with a dull thud, creating a small dent in Naruto's wooden head. Kin snickered.

"Well, at least I get some amusement out of it," she mused. Naruto frowned and picked it up, examining it from all angles.

"You could have warned me you were gonna throw it," Naruto said sulkily. He pocketed the moon's tear.

"You're going to bother taking it along?" Kin snorted. "It's your dead weight, then…"

Naruto gave her the best condescending look he could muster, which failed to be overly impressive – after all, when your expression is set in wood, it's hard to convey emotions properly. "Kyuubi taught me that as long as I have infinite holding space, I might as well take along whatever I want…or whatever he wants."

Kin rolled her eyes. "Up to you, then…I don't see why anyone would want it, though…"

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"You simply MUST let me have it, young sahr!"

"Stupid…" Kin twitched irritably at the scene. A Business Scrub was almost literally begging Naruto for the moon's tear. The Deku boy looked up at Kin inquiringly.

"Think I should sell it or something?"

Before Kin could even get a chance to answer, the Business Scrub started again. "Ah need to bring my wife back a souvenir from when Ah was here! Do you _know_ what she'll do to me if Ah don't? Ah am willing to pay you _thousands_, young sahr!"

Kin raises her eyebrows. "Scrubs have wives…?" she shook her head. "Actually, never mind. You may as well sell it, Deku boy."

The Business Scrub looked thrilled, and his joy only grew when Naruto began speaking again. "You're right, Kin…I mean, we really don't want it. It's kind of heavy to carry around, and it takes up space, so if anything I'm getting desperate to get rid of it."

Kin smacked her forehead. The Business Scrub grinned greedily.

"In that case, a trade seems more than fair!" he declared. "Ah will give you this spot here – prime marketing position, Ah tell you, young sahr – and you will give me that stone! All seems fair? Hmm? Alright, it's a deal!" the Scrub shook Naruto's hand exuberantly, swiping the moon's tear with his other hand and grinning.

Naruto blinked in bewilderment. Kin gave Naruto a look of loathing.

"I despise you, and I despise the fact that you're too stupid to know when to shut up," she said witheringly. Naruto continued to look puzzled.

"Well, Ah'm off!" The Business Scrub said cheerfully, diving into his Deku flower and pulling up a few suitcases. "Nice doing business with you!"

"I'll bet," Kin spat. The Business Scrub took off, disappearing off the screen.

"…Hey!" Naruto gasped in realisation. "He ripped us off!"

Kin proceeded to beat him over the head. "Took you long enough!" she snarled. "It's all your damn fault, too! We could have scammed enough money to _buy_ that stupid mask back from the Skull Kid and end this, but _no_…"

Naruto swatted at her in a feeble attempt to keep her away. "Ouch! Cut it out…"

Kin froze suddenly, almost forgetting to beat her wings to catch herself mid-fall. Fireworks exploded behind the clock tower, and the clock began to chime, marking midnight of the third and final day. "It's starting…"

The front of the clock tower extended, rising up with a mechanical whirr. The new extension fell forward, freeing part of the tower to fall into itself, forming stairs leading up into the tower itself. Kin's jaw dropped.

"That has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever seen," she said decisively. "We're expected to believe that stairs would just magically be revealed like that? For Din's sake, it _collapsed_ in on itself! That would NEVER logically happen!"

"Shut up, Kin!" Naruto said urgently. "You're not supposed to question game logistics! Besides, your critique is taking up time, and we only five minutes real-time according to that useful little counter at the bottom of the screen," he pointed at said counter.

"Whatever," Kin snorted. "You need to get inside that clock tower. Now, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think that deal you made that Business Scrub will help you out. Dive into the flower and fly up to those stairs."

"…You want me to go inside that thing?" Naruto said uneasily. "As a Deku Scrub? But Kin, it looks like a -"

"I don't care," she cut him off. "Skull Kid's up there."

"How do you know?"

Kin hit him. "We just saw him up there above the last cut-off line, idiot! Now get going before I _really_ give you incentive…"

Naruto blinked. "I don't really know what you meant, but I'm guessing that was a vague, open-ended threat that you don't really intend on following through. Kyuubi used to do that all the time."

Kin gave him a look. Naruto wisely dived into the Deku Flower, launching himself up, clutching the spinning flowers desperately.

"Don't like heights…" he sighed, looking down at the ground nervously. Kin whizzed after him, prompting him to let go once he hovered above the steps.

At the end of the tunnel, Gaara was suspended on some wires, hovering and looking rather bored. He tossed Naruto's ocarina up in the air carelessly, letting his sand do the work on the rare occasions he didn't manage to catch it. Zaku bobbed up and down in time with Gaara's tosses. Kin cleared her throat pointedly.

"Sis!" Zaku brightened – literally. Kin rolled her eyes.

"Took you long enough," she snapped. "We've been looking everywhere for you. Hey, Skull Kid, how about you give back that mask now?" she paused, then said irritably, "Are you listening?"

Zaku flew forward. "Swamp. Mountain. Ocean. Canyon. The four who are there…bring them here."

Naruto looked confused. "Sorry, could you be a bit more vague, please?"

Zaku frowned. "I thought it was a good hint…"

Kin gave him a flat look.

"Stop speaking out of line," Gaara growled, rolling his eyes. "Stupid fairy…" Casually, a large flyswatter formed out of sand and knocked Zaku out of the air. Kin looked outraged.

"Hey! Low blow!" she screeched. "Flyswatters are outlawed!"

"Whatever," Gaara shrugged, seemingly ignoring Kin. "Even if they came here now, they wouldn't be able to handle me. Just look above you." He smirked, indicating the moon.

Naruto gasped, grimacing in disgust. The tip of Orochimaru's gigantic nose was growing nearer and nearer, almost touching the very top of the clock tower where they stood. Gaara sneered.

"If it's something that can be stopped, then just try to stop it!" His wires snapped back, positioning him upright. His mask began to shake, some sand trickling off the edges, and the ground rumbled. Orochimaru's face sneered and began to descend faster. Kin swore vehemently.

Naruto spat in disgust, a mucous bubble forming as he did so. Looking surprised and slightly grosses out, Naruto tried to shake it loose. It flew into Gaara, who gave him a flat look of revulsion.

"I really should have chosen something other than a Deku Scrub," he said, looking slightly sick. He snatched a towel from a passing stagehand and proceeded to wipe himself off, forgetting to catch the Ocarina of Time. Naruto darted forward and grabbed it.

Kin began screeching something at him, but it all seemed to fade away into whiteness.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Naruto blinked. "Oh, one of those memory sequences…I get it." He looked from the miniature red horse, who pawing the insubstantial ground nervously, to the back of the figure clad in a pink dress.

"You're already leaving this land of Hyrule, aren't you?" The person said, turning around. Naruto blinked.

"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Princess Zelda," Zelda blinked. "What do you mean, who am I? We met in the last game, Ocarina of Time, remember?"

"Did not," Naruto retorted. "_Our_ Princess Zelda was played by a bastard. I think it was the author's idea of comedic effect."

"Well, just pretend you met me, okay?" Zelda snapped. Naruto fell silent obediently. Zelda smirked. "That's better. Even though it was only a short time that we knew each other -"

"For the past few seconds, you mean?" Naruto interjected helpfully. She glared at him. "…I'll shut up now, dattebayo…"

"I feel as though I've known you forever," Zelda sighed, before muttering under her breath. "Seriously, if you keep making this difficult this will take up an eternity…" In a louder voice, she continued. "I'll never forget the days we spent together in Hyrule…and I believe in my heart that we'll meet again."

"We would have had to meet _before_ if we were going to meet _again_…"

"Until that day comes," she said pointedly through gritted teeth, "please take this. I'm praying your journey will be a safe one. Now, if something should happen to you, please remember this song…" she lifted the Ocarina of Time to her lips and began playing the Song of Time.

Naruto rolled his eyes and snatched the ocarina right out of her hands. "I already know that song, so can I go? I'm supposed to be being crushed by a moon, and I sort of need to be there."

"Fine!" Zelda snapped. "The Goddess of Time is protecting you now, so as of now, I have nothing to do with you!" Huffily, she crossed her arms. "I can't believe this is the only cameo I get, and I'm not even getting paid…"

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"SNAP OUT OF IT!"

Naruto blinked, shaking his aching head. It only took him thirty seconds to realise his hurt so much because Kin was hitting him repeatedly.

"What d'you think you're doing, getting lost in memories? Get yourself together!" she yelled. "That stupid ocarina isn't going to help us!" she flew upwards, obviously growing more and more hostile and panicked. "Somebody, anybody! Goddess of Time, help us, damn it! _We need more time!_"

Naruto blinked. "Goddess of Time…now where have I heard that before…"

Kin began whizzing around, screeching at the top of her lungs and scratching her throat raw in a frantic frenzy. Naruto continued to look thoughtful.

"Time…hmm…"

"We're all gonna die!" Kin wailed. "I'm too young to die! They took my character out of the series way too early as it is! It isn't fair!"

Naruto continued to look perplexed, brow furrowed. "Time…"

Kin began beating her fists against the ground, sobbing hysterically.

"…Hmm…" something in Naruto's mind finally managed to make the connection. "Wait a minute, time!" He went to take out his ocarina. Kin looked up, staring at him in surprise.

"Where did you get that instrument?" she demanded.

Naruto studied the set of pipes he had just taken out in confusion. "How did an ocarina turn into pipes?"

"Forget that! We're all gonna die…" Kin went back to wailing. Looking thoughtful, Naruto played three notes, then repeated them. Gaara's eyes widened slightly.

A strange sensation overtook the Deku boy, oddly familiar in the sense that it felt as if time was rushing through him, backwards. Visions of the past three days flashed before his eyes.

"If I'm dying, that is so not funny…" he muttered weakly, not really aware of his own words. "Though, I could always be brought back later, I guess…"

Everything went black. Naruto jumped slightly as the large wooden doors slammed behind him, and the screen went black, stark words blaring from the screen, reading 'Dawn of the First Day; 72 hours remaining'. Naruto blinked and shook his head slightly.

"Whoa…"

"What just happened?" Kin said shrilly. She stared out at South Clock Town, watching the carpenters bustle about merrily, a small dog darting about with his tail held high. Naruto's jaw dropped, and Kin looked stunned.

"Everything has…started over…"

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Okay, for anyone who's played the game – it really DOES look like one! Especially during the 'Dawn of the Day' thing. Y'know, when the camera zooms out to show you where you are? I've made fun of that for ages, and you can check if you don't believe me! …Oh, and everyone got what I was saying there, right? (Mutters something to someone off screen) YES, I know _you_ got it, Sai…

And once again, I'M SORRY! I will never, ever, ever, take so long to update again…thanks to all the concerned readers who messaged me to make sure I was still alive.

Until next chapter…whenever that may be…please, be patient with me!


	3. Chapter Three?

Dearest readers,

It has come to my attention that people still care about Ocarina of Konoha and the long-abandoned sequel, ANBU's Mask. Let me just say, I'm deeply touched that it still matters to people.

The reason it was abandoned is, admittedly, a bad habit of mine – after a series of broken harddrives made me lose my cast list and chapter outlines, I couldn't work up the motivation to remember who I'd cast as who, what was going to happen in every chapter, what gag I was going to use to keep the plot together. That, and the Naruto™ series started to lose me once it got to that long patch of filler episodes, and sadly, this fic seemed lost to the records of deadfics on this site.

But I still get the odd review or personal message, asking if I'll start it up again. I've also had a few people ask me if I would pass on the writing torch to someone else, just to see this story complete…

So I figure, why not!

It wouldn't be fair not to give each of those people an equal chance at writing it, and so I've decided the fairest way is to make this…

Drumroll, please?

…

_Please?_

Thank you.

**ANBU'S MASK CHAPTER THREE: I CHOOSE YOU! Writing contest!**

For anyone interested in completing (or helping me complete) AM, all you have to do is write chapter three and submit it to me for review. The best one will be put up as the actual third chapter and we can continue the story together.

I have no idea if anyone is going to actually care enough to do it…but the fact that people asked in the first place also means a lot.

You can email chapter submissions to the hotmail address ocarinaofkonoha . hot mail. com (obviously, remove the spaces).

**For those of you who still care but don't want to write AM**, you can do something else for me:

I'm trying to make Kyuubi the fairy more well-known on the internet, one tiny thing at a time. Show me something featuring Kyuu, and I'll add that to my tally box of 'Get off your ass and write AM, Lon' fund.

I'd like to take this closing opportunity to say that I feel massively conceited for even putting this up, so I really hope someone justifies it by sending me emails.

Thanks, all!


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